I felt like writing a blog post again after a long time.
Just like I used to, I want to leave a little record of what I’m thinking these days as a mother raising elementary school children in Tokyo.
When you raise children in Japan, there’s so much to think about when it comes to education.
Some families put a lot of thought and money into their children’s education and send them to private elementary schools. Many children also prepare for private middle school entrance exams. In Tokyo, it’s not unusual for children to start going to cram school almost every day from around fourth grade.
Of course, that takes a lot of time and money.
For now, our family has decided not to have our children take private middle school entrance exams.
We use Kumon to make sure they have the basic academic skills they need, and I want them to spend the rest of their time doing things they genuinely enjoy.
My daughter recently had to quit piano after three years because she simply ran out of time. These days, she puts a lot of effort into cheer dance. She loves it, so we’re pretty serious about it too. Every year, her goal is to place at national competitions.
My son does drums, piano, soccer, swimming, and karate. We let him freely choose the things he likes, and once he decides to do something, he gives it his all.
Maybe I believe that studying isn’t the only thing worth working hard at.
Of course, once they get to high school, entrance exams are something they can’t really avoid.
From middle school onward, there isn’t a path where you can simply go anywhere without taking an entrance exam, and eventually they will have to decide what they want to do and study for it themselves.
Thinking about your future and studying for it while you’re still in elementary school.
It sounds simple when you put it that way, but I think it’s actually quite difficult for a child.
And yet, so many children in Japan are doing exactly that.
So what is it like in other countries?
I’ve never raised children anywhere other than Japan, so I honestly don’t know.
How do people identify a child’s strengths and weaknesses?
In Japan, tests such as the WISC are sometimes used to understand children’s strengths, challenges, and learning characteristics.
I wonder if other countries tend to take a very different approach.
But even beyond academics, I often wonder how much time children should spend on different things while they’re still in elementary school.
That’s surprisingly difficult to figure out.
And the environment children are growing up in today is completely different from when I was a child.
If you leave them alone, there are tablets, video games, and smartphones.
Even when I say, “Don’t do that,” they might still end up looking at their phones while walking.
When I was a child, I feel like parents could see, at least to some extent, what their children were doing at home.
Now, even when parents aren’t watching, screens can quietly take away an endless amount of their time.
In our family, we don’t currently let our children use social media or LINE to stay in constant, endless communication with other people.
I’ve also heard quite a few stories about parents who installed Instagram or LINE for their children, only to eventually delete the apps because managing their time became difficult or because problems arose in their relationships with friends.
Hearing those stories makes me think even more.
How much should parents actually control the way their children spend their time?
How much studying?
How many activities?
How much gaming?
How much smartphone use?
How much communication with friends?
At what point does “guidance” become “overprotectiveness”?
And there’s no clear answer written anywhere.
I think every family is probably just watching their children, figuring things out, and trying to find what works for them.
So what actually is the “right” way to raise a child?
Maybe there is no such thing.
Parents are all watching their own children, wondering, “Am I doing this right?” and figuring things out as they go.
But these are things we don’t really talk about with other people.
Education. Money. A child’s strengths and weaknesses. Their future.
Even if you see the same people almost every day, you rarely have these kinds of conversations.
And even when you do talk about them, it’s hard to know how much you should actually say. Like what I’m writing here 😆
Maybe that’s why we don’t really know how other families are thinking about raising their children, or what rules they have at home.
I don’t think what we’re doing is necessarily the right answer either.
It’s just what our family is doing for now.
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